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Friday, April 20, 2012

flipping some fucking tables today


Here's a completely irrelevant picture for you shallow people to look at

To celebrate the shittiest fucking day in history, here's a relapse on all the shit that people do that makes me wanna shove them back up their momma's womb and have them re-fucked. If you're gonna whine to me thinking that I'm talking about you, please keep in mind that 1. I hate people who whine, 2. if I don't tell you to shut up when you whine, I most likely don't care enough and 3. I mention no names. So fuck you, you can't sue me. 

Let's go!

1. I hate trains AND buses who don't keep up with their set fucking time schedules. I'd like to take the opportunity to say that WHO EVER (within the DSB corporation) came up with the new bus time tables... needs their fucking face shot off or something. "The bus runs every 8th-15th minutes" WELL ISN'T THAT FUCKING SPECIFIC.

2. People who provide you with shitty ass notes to cover for them.

3. When you get on a bus or train and the person in front of you suddenly stops as if to evaluate the purpose of life in the middle of the automatic doors. MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY, PEASANT.

4. Incomplete sentences and unspecific information. WHAT am I gonna do with statements such as "This is.... oh.. well... never mind" and "There's a presentation due Thursday" FUCK YOU.

5. People who can't make up their fucking mind.

6. You know that type of person in class who will answer the teacher's question.. and when the teacher (perhaps he/she didn't hear them) goes "Excuse me what?" the idiot of a student goes "Oh.. no.. that wasn't right.. never mind" or they go "UHHH... no... I just blacked out" when it's fucking obvious that they don't know the answer or a too scared to take a chance. GTFO.

7. Idiot questions like "Is that your real hair?" - oh no, it's a wig. I made it out of your mom's chest hair and the bangs of a scene kid I skinned the other day. My god.. what the fuck do YOU think? I have roots and the hair is STUCK to my HEAD.

8. Morons posting retarded comments on youtube "Her eyes are so chinky omg", "his hair is weird", "I love your personality, but your videos suck now" - GET OUTTA HERE. Go back to your mom.. Have her teach you some manners before she lets you back into society. Jeez.

9. People who get their panties in a twist over others who say "retarded" and "gay" - fuck you, I'm both and I don't give a shit. (pun intended)

10. People who spread spam and random bullshit (KONY 2012, "go watch my videos too if you like makeup" and "please subscribe back" counts as well - I don't owe you shit and I couldn't care less.)

11. UNICEF, Greenpeace, Børns Vilkår (Circumstances of Children), Red Cross and other organizations chasing me up and down the shopping streets - I fucking hate children and especially those I'm not related to. My morbid comments usually turn them off, but some fuckers (esp. UNICEF) just won't take no for an answer.

12. People with no manners. This is seemingly very SIMPLE. If I hold the door for you, warn you that the train is coming so your dog won't get run the fuck over, step back so you can enter the bus or do something else that would require a very short but genuine "thank you" and you can't fulfill my expectation of a fucking two-word sentence (in Danish it's only one "Tak") then I hope you get hit by a fucking taxi, furthermore chased by all aforementioned organizations until you reach the door step of your home in front of which you realize that you forgot your key. You then proceed to be eaten alive by these self-righteous organization members only eager to pick the flesh off your bones until they reach the core of your spine which they shall then cook soup off, load into tiny plastic boxes and ship to fucking Africa. Have a nice flight, idiot!

13. Menstrual cycles. They do terrible things to good people.

14. People who like negative statuses on Facebook. What the FUCK is that supposed to even mean? That you agree? That you're happy I got hit by a fucking ferry on my way to school? Or that you have been hit by a ferry too? I don't get it.

15. 12-yearolds in kpop fandoms with access to the internet. STEP OFF BITCH.

16. Heterosexual pre-teens who attempt to write smut about lesbian pairings in kpop. One thing is that you write smut at the age of 12 - I hope your parents find that shit. Another is to know what sex even is. And then we have the whole "So.. how do girls even have sex"-scenario which ALWAYS ends up being the worst, most poorly written shit in the history of fan fictions be they smut or not. Just STOP that. RIGHT NOW.

17. Anyone between 5-20 years of age complaining about their parents being OMG SO UNFAIRZ WTH. Sit yo' ass down and eat your cereal. Your parents kept you alive for all this time. They gave you life and in most cases they should've taken it away sooner than you even came to this age. Who the FUCK at 20 whines about their parents giving them a curfew. If you're living at home - your parents' rules count. If you can't live with that - move the fuck out. Bwara mr. Simple!

18. Ignorant fuckers. I don't care if you're a homophobe, ridiculously religious or just another fucking idiot. If your only argument is that "God say so" I'd like for you to leave his contact information for me to confirm that. And if your only excuse for saying whatever nonsense your ugly-ass mouth keeps releasing from the core of the rotten persona that is you is that "it's a free country", "everybody knows that" or "I have freedom of speech" then I WILL continuously hack on your neck with the sharp end of a canteen tray until the blood flows.

19. People who tell me to calm the fuck down when I'm pissed. DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!!! DO I LOOK IN THE POSITION AND MOOD TO WANNA HEAR THAT SHIT? How about I come to your door when your mom dies and says "Hey, let's get wasted" and you go "but.. I can't.. my mom died" and I proceed to tell you what a fucking sensitive wanker you are for getting your panties in a twist over something that petty. Mothers die every day. big deal.. FUCK. THAT. SHIT. And fuck your shit too.

20. Anyone who will now proceed to tell me to calm down or go ahead and whine about "omg are you talking about me?!". It is NOT funny, it is NOT about you and I WILL send a dead girl to kill you in your sleep if you don't back the fuck up. And since most of you probably don't care to read the intro - here it is again; don't whine to me about this. I'm pissed, I'm irrational, I have freedom of speech (har har) and as long as I mention no names or post any pictures, I can say whatever the fuck I want.

Comments are welcome. As always.. Just don't ask me stupid shit. Tell me what pisses you the fuck off and tell me some of your favorite swear words to use.. Should I put a parental advisory tag on here?

BSH fuck that. If you're not old enough to not censor "fuck" then your parents should take that internet away from you right about NOW.

No pictures.. why? Well obviously because I'm too pissed to edit and too annoyed to care.

EDIT: I came up with a 21. Vegans and vege-fucking-tarians trying to shove their self-righteous holiness down your throat by claiming that you're saving the world and the oceans and the little monkeys by not eating meat. FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF TO VEGGIE LAND. I like steak!

BUH-BYE

19 comments:

  1. "13. Menstrual cycles. They do terrible things to good people."

    True words, Bro.

    :)

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    Replies
    1. I'm on my menstrual cycle running people verbally over as we speak!

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  2. I agree with most of this & could add 100 more. Amen.

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  3. Hahaha this made me laugh so much, but majority of it is true lol. As for #14 I think sometimes people like negative facebook statuses to show that "oh I've been there so I understand thing" but then again it's kinda awkward because it just says "like" and not all that other stuff lol

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  4. Har har har. DSB needs to get their heads out of their giant scumbag asses&fucking have something that's "ON (so called) TIME". Also people that tells you to calm down when you're pissed are "dummere end fucking snot"

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  5. Replies
    1. Haha, glad you liked it! I was kinda worried that the blogger girls on here would think I'd lost my mind or something..

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  6. This made me Lol so hard. I love the "Sit yo' ass down and eat your cereal." quote xDDD don't mind me if I use it when I rage on someone in the future.

    I kinda pissed off at people right now too :/ some people expect me to read their crappy ass handwriting and try to interpret it correctly and put it down on my paper, then throw a hissy fit because I can't read it. Then they refuse to tell you what was on the rest of the paper since the low quality pictures they sent you cut half the paper off when I was nice enough to type it out neatly and send it to them since I know I have sucky hand writing. Man, undeserving bitches these days. Smh.

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    Replies
    1. OMG YES I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! What.. the.. HELL. You spend tons of time helping people out but they can't even bother to scan that shit properly and wrap it up in a nice file to send. FUCK THAT SHIT. And please feel free to quote me on anything ; D I calmed down a bit, but DAMN I was about to slap a bitch when I got on the train.. I've been so busy and stressed out lately, so when people ask me for the SIMPLEST stuff I just look dumbfounded at them like "Are you serious...? do I need to sign you up for a course on how to breathe for yourself as well?" Jeez.. >_> people these days.

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    2. Yeah that's exactly how I felt! I always feel like slapping stupid bitches but since I don't come into contact with many people except for school I usually keep it under control. People are dumb and expect life to be handed to them on a silver platter and that ain't gonna happen!

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    3. EXACTLY. and when you DO hand shit to them on a silver platter, they always gotta complain about other shit! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!

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  7. Pretty sure I could add a million things to my list. D: Just have to note them down during the course of the day.

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  8. Haha I'm sorry to hear you're feeling lousy right now, but this was a pretty funny read. I have to agree with a lot of the things you said though - it seems like there are more and more stupid and inconsiderate ppl in the world these days. I also can't stand ppl who are ignorant and close minded too. The ones that are deeply religious are probably the worst because like you said, they're just basing their views on what is told to them by their religious leaders, Bible, whatever...they're not even coming up with their own opinions on the matter.

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    Replies
    1. I KNOW RIGHT? Wth. and I swear to god.. I was on youtube last night (bad idea) and some girl commented on a Michelle Phan video that if she wore any of those looks, her mom would go "Back inside...." and tell her to remove it. Some person then commented "wtf. Tell your mom to stfu" DUDE.. if I ever even THOUGHT about telling my mom to shut up, she'd rip my limbs off one by one and put needle and thread on the table for me to sow them back on myself. T__T wth is wrong with people. Is respect not cool enough these days? My god..
      Yeah that's true.. and the sad part is that most of the things they say, the bible doesn't even say. I think a lot of the bible's guidelines should be well interpreted before shoved down people's throats. And imo.. if you're gonna tell me I'm a sinner for being gay, how about we go through all the other sins that the old testament presents that you've broken SEVERAL times. >_> my god..

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  9. Woah, calm down. jks, RAGE BABE RAGEEEEEEEEE. firstly *hugs* sorry so much shit is going on with you :( some people need to gtfo and learn their place. HAHAH, i'm tempted to yell obscene things to those self-righteous orgainizations now! XDD I hope you do feel better soon, and all those shitty people need to just go fuck themselves >:(

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  10. XD Great list :D
    Breath in, thinking of all the shit that is bothering you, hold your breath, to prepare the right words to say to all this shit, breath out screaming, to destroy them all :)))

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  11. So much rage xD I love it :D
    I can agree with everything seriously xD
    All of these are reasons why I cannot stand people in general.

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