that I'll be going away until Sunday this week. It's been a really bad, bad, baaaad weekend.
Friday we had an appointment with the vet. Rosie's been having really really bad ears lately, so we wanted to get it checked again. She's been on medication for a long time and they just didn't seem to wanna heal. The vet put her in full narcosis, but she still cried out when the vet tried to examine her ear. In the end judgment fell.. It wouldn't be fair to Rosie to keep her alive. Her entire eardrum and mucosa were completely gone and she'd never be without the pain. She'd have to get her ear drained, cleansed and medicated throughout her entire life - and even painkillers wouldn't be sufficient enough to spare her the pain... We had to let her go. Therefore I dedicate this post to Rosie.
Full name: Cayuga Justonekiss
Born: April 9th. 2004
Sent to Dog-Heaven: November 19th 2010.
I can barely think of all this without wanting to cry. She was the 'Leader' of the flock. She was a diva and she went to dog shows most certain that the entire show was ONLY for her. Other dogs were simply lucky to have been invited. When she entered the ring, she would turn into this completely different dog. People could see that - and as her handler, I could feel it. She lit up, almost soared around the ring and took pride in being her. When she got her ribbon, she'd pick it up and carry it around in the ring, just to show off her pure awesomeness. She most definitely knew when she had won.
There will never be a dog like her. She only got 1 litter (that pretty much failed, as all of the pups had one illness, flaw or another) and 1 certificate (a specific prize. If you get 3 from different judges within the same country, your dog will be entitled 'Champion' of that country). She deserved many more. It's easy to look back now and think that she should never have had any puppies. She should simply have been allowed to go to dog shows and strut her stuff as she loved to do it.
We will miss her - and we will never forget her.
Never will there be anyone to ever take her place.
I promised myself that I would be strong, but as she was put in narcosis, she fell asleep on my foot as I sat beside her, I could see her looking at me as if she was saying 'What's going on? Why are you doing this?'. When we made the decision to put her down, my heart utterly BROKE. Many will say that dogs are simply dogs - but that's not true. Dogs like Rosie make everything worth while. She'd be the fluffiest, comforting shoulder to lean on, when you felt that everything was falling apart. Her and I would 'dance' and play on the fields, and every time we passed a bunch of kids playing soccer, she'd try to break loose to catch the ball. Even at 6 years she was playful, joyful and so lovable.
We got a bouquet from one of my mom's friends. She sent us a huge bouquet of white flowers with one single rose in the middle. The card said that that particular rose was to symbolize Rosie. And then she'd added a little quote that said "Wherever a beautiful soul has been, there is a trail of beautiful memories". So of course my mom and I had to cry again.. My dad made a photo album with pictures of Rosie. The worst thing is that he uploaded that picture above, of Rosie as a little pup in my lap by a camping area. We'd almost just gotten her home from Italy and decided to take her with us camping. She LOVED it and she was so happy and seemed as if she'd gone to Heaven. I remember her sitting in my lap almost attacking me with kisses and playful nibbles.
The other photo is of her from this year's Gold Cup show in Nyborg. This is where she had her uterus removed cause of an infection. She suffered from many illnesses throughout her time, so I guess we should've seen it coming. But generally it's hard to admit that your dog is ill, that you can do absolutely nothing to help her.. that it would be pure animal abuse to keep her alive spite the pain she's going through. And so.. we let her go.
We love you, Rosie. And you'll always be missed. We cherish the times we had with you, both good and bad, and I, personally, wish so bad, that you'd just come home again. That I can go downstairs at 7AM and you'll be laying in the hallway, one eye open looking at me like 'What? I aint going outside now! Are you crazy!?'.
So yeah.. my emotional blabbering is over.
'Normal' beauty post when I get home Sunday or at least the following week.
Obviously I haven't been feeling well this weekend. Crying on and off, holding her collar, looking into the hallway wishing that she'd lift her head and still be there.
But I know that's not gonna happen. Letting dogs go is one of the things that you never get used to. I grew up in a kennel where dogs came and left.. either due to aging, illnesses or simply circumstances. But man.. I can't remember when it was last THIS hard to say goodbye.
Also I take this opportunity to thank everyone who sent us their condolences and deepest compassion. Rosie held a place within many peoples' hearts and thanks to you all, she had a great life - even though it wasn't long.
Good luck in Dog Heaven, love.
I'll see you soon
♥ ♥ ♥